Current location:	work
Current mood:	tired
Current music:	the IT guy is on the phone

Bits and pieces from various scripts.
Meme from scarfman Post five great lines of dialog from your own fanfiction.

I don't write fanfiction, so I'm going to mix it up a bit: Post five of your favourite lines of dialogue from your own work. (stand-alone lines only, no back-and-forths or monologues. It doesn't work quite as well, because fanfiction lines are about showing how well you capture the character, but I'm giving it a go anyway.)

In the order they were written:

1. Unfilmed Everybody Loves Lisa episode
   Brent: You’ve been mourning for at least twenty minutes now! Just get over it, already. The bitch is dead!
   
2. Early Robbie and Peter draft
   Elizabeth: I am fast, like the lepoard...yet soft, like the kitten.
   
3. The Map Shop
   Todd: Imagine that each breath you take is like one thousand tiny cars, sinking into the sea. Each car has inside it a little tiny drowning orphan. Are you imagining the orphans, Allison? Now, pretend that each of those orphans is cradling a puppy. Tiny, little, cute, baby, drowning puppies.
   
4. Unfilmed NAP-Time episode
   Narrator: The punishment for stealing biscuits in the Big Green House was harsh, but fair. Anyone caught stealing biscuits was baked into a biscuit and eaten.
   
5. Unfilmed Hotel Sunshine episode
   Rupert: Pretend you're afraid of nuns. You just take a mop, you put a little nun-hat on it, and you overcome your fear by punching it in the face.
   

While scouting around, I also found this, which made me laugh. Another Everybody Loves Lisa bit:

Degan: (runs in) Hey guys, guess what!! I’ve won this years “Nobel Prize for Mail Delivery”!!
Martha: I wasn’t aware that the Nobel Prize committee awarded prizes to postmen...
Brent: Oh yes, Martha. (he turns to the camera, and pulls down a chart.) You see, the Nobel Prize committee was started in the 19th century by “Alfred Nobel”. He set up a committee that would reward the people who made outstanding contributions to society, invented ground-breaking technology, discovered amazing discoveries, or delivered a particularly high quantity of mail. The prizes are given out in Norway every year, and are funded by the King of Sweden. Prizes are given in the categories of Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature, Peace, Economic Science, and Mail-Delivery.

(the gang go to Norway. At various points throughout the episode:)
Brent: Hey look guys, it’s the Eiffel Tower of Denmark!
Michael: Wow! It’s the Leaning Tower of Denmark!
Martha: Hey look guys, we’re at the East End of London in Denmark!